Tag Archives: Goals

Peptalk: Set your vision – Paul Arden

Without having a goal | Paul Arden | lizniland.com

I’ve just last week started reading the ol’ (literally old; it was written in the 1930s!) “How to win friends and influence people” after my new manager gifted me a copy. Even though the capital of China is still Peking in this book, it’s still incredibly relevant. Our means of communication have changed but our motivators are essentially still the same.

Paul Arden’s book “It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be” – the source of the above quote – jumped out at me quite a few years ago but I thought it was going to be a motivational self help book. It wasn’t, so I left it on my shelf. (I think I needed an Eat Pray Love scenario. *insert eye roll* )

With “How to win friends” on my mind, I picked this book back up recently realising it’s far more interesting to me now. Regardless of whether you’re focusing on nailing one big goal or are honing in on your core desired feelings, aiming for something gives you a test for success, a soundboard for big decisions and basically, a reason to keep on keeping on.

x Liz

Photo note: Taken on my iPhone.

Goal setting for the soul

My core desired feelings | lizniland.com

Goal setting has never been my jam. Don’t get me wrong, I love working towards targets; I just don’t like the all or nothing approach goal chasing seems to bring out in people. Giving up happiness now for the sake of a pie in the sky that might not even make up for the friends not seen, the kilometres not strolled, the brunches and brownie sandwiches not devoured, seems so risky to me. Call me an impatient, instant gratification-seeking Gen-Y but the number of times I change the direction of my dreams would put the wind to shame.

That said though, I’ve always tried – and mostly failed – to make goals work. When I noticed Danielle LaPorte and Marie Forleo, two of the wisest self-made modern businesswomen around, had made a video on goal setting, I decided to give it a chance. I’m so glad I did: welcome to “core desired feelings”, the perfectionist overachiever’s answer to traditional goals.

It’s a 20 minute video so save it for a quiet afternoon when you’ve got a little bit of time to focus on it.

I love the idea of matching your soul to your goals. Decide how you want to feel, then establish goals that align with making that happen – and then only keep striving for those goals, while ever they still feel right.

Core desired feelings go beyond goal setting though; as Danielle says in the video, they can and should be used to guide every decision you make. For example if “abundance” is one of your core desired feelings (it’s one of mine) you probably aren’t going to be dining on chicken nuggets with Ronald. There is enough time and resources available to prepare yourself a far more delicious, far more healthful meal.

If you feel that stomach-clenching uneasiness with a particular situation or notice yourself acting uncomfortably, check in with your core desired feelings. Are you aligned with what you want for yourself, with how you want to feel?

This level of mindfulness can sound like an overwhelming prospect but checking in with yourself regularly is worth it according to those in the know. I’m really trying to work on it.

After a few weeks of rumination, I’m aiming to live by:

  • Creation: not just to be ‘creative’ in my thoughts but to actively produce creative work, to participate in creation.
  • Abundance: there is enough, you are enough. Be generous & patient.
  • Intention: participate actively and whole-mindedly in all you do. The hardest one of all for me.

If you do the activity Danielle recommends, I’d love to hear what your core desired feelings are!

Are you a goals person? Or do you like this slightly more day-by-day approach?

x Liz

Photo note: Image from Death to the stock photo